My Impact Wrestling Overview (December 7, 2017)

Impact Wrestling

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Aberdeen Pavilion

Alberto El Patron is backstage and says that he is out for revenge against Eli Drake.

Video Package: Dan Lambert talks about how he is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and he knows everything there is to know about MMA. This guy is one of my favorite performers in pro wrestling today.

Match #1

Impact Wrestling vs Pro Wrestling NOAH

Normal Match

Taiji Ishimori vs Caleb Konley (w/Trevor Lee)

Winner by pinfall: Taiji Ishimori (450 Splash)

After the match, Lee and Konley put the boots to Ishimori and attempt to go for an assisted Piledriver when Dezmond Xavier runs out and makes the save.

My Take:

This was a fine match. Konley comes off as very generic and I don't many people outside of hardcore fans are aware of Ishimori's abilities. What makes Okada, Naito, Tanahashi and Omega big deals is that more and more people have been becoming more exposed to the incredible matches that these NJPW guys put on. Not so much with Ishimori. Before his debut, I would have dedicated segments of Impact with barn burner Ishimori matches from NOAH to have Impact fans be like "This guy and his matches are incredible! He's coming here to Impact? I can't wait!".

Match #2

Winner goes to the Finals to face Laurel Van Ness for the Knockouts Championship

Three Way Match

Allie vs Rosemary vs Sienna

Winner by pinfall: Rosemary (Red Wedding)

My Takes: 

• Rosemary's corner choke is now called the upsidedown after the popularity of Stranger Things. Makes sense. However, he finisher is already called the Red Wedding after Game of Thrones. What's next? DDTs named Lucille? Eleven punches in the corner? 
• If they ever create more of those episodic Rosemary vignettes, it would probably make sense to show her locked away somewhere with no choice but to watch endless television. Kind of like Eleven in season two of Stranger Things. That would make sense of her naming her moves after TV show things.
• Quite frankly, vignettes alone are always good. It's been statistically proven that great matches don't draw big ratings or buyrates, personalities do. However at this point, I wonder if it's possible to create buzz with show after show of awesome matches. Impact must search for an identity in this new ere for them. They created the Broken Matt Hardy style of programming. Perhaps that style of original and creative content mixed in with great wrestling that would rival ROH, maybe you'd create that buzz? You got to do something because Impact has just felt so generic as a whole. And there are a lot of great characters on such as Dan Lambert, Joseph Park and Eli Drake. But it hasn't all clicked for me yet.

In-Ring Promo

with O.V.E.

My Takes:

• I was just about to talk about the dreadful history of the music on Impact. From the composition to the way the themes are mic'ed on the show. None of the songs sound good. It just sounds like background noise as the wrestlers come out. Take any WWE theme, crank it up and you usually have a good sounding song sound quality-wise. But it just hit me.....Jim Johnston is a free agent now. It's a shame that Impact is cutting costs because I would have thrown so much money at Johnston's feet to come on board to finally fix this issue. ROH has always had an issues with lighting, Impact has always had an issues with the theme music.
• It got censored but at one point, Sami Callihan says that Ottawa is Canada's asshole. The camera cuts right to a little boy in the crowd who had to be six or seven years old. Real classy.
• Sami really comes off as a guy who does vocals for a hardcore band.
• This is the first I've seen of this TDT tag team. What's the name all about?
• I'm always a fan of new talent and I look forward to see what these guys are all about.
• Are we going to have a Mexico vs USA vs Canada tag team rivalry with LAX, OVE and TDT? (Why do they all have to be three letters?)

Backstage, Gail Kim tries to get Allie to understand that it's her time. Allie repeats "It's my time!" over and over again. This gives me flashbacks of my favorite Triple H theme.

KM is outside somewhere out in what I can only assume is Ottawa. He's trying to get American Top Team's attention like they were a good looking girl at a club. He goes inside of a gym and throws down a guy that was running a treadmill. Everyone around him isn't even noticing this incident. KM then grabs another dude who had his back to him pulling weight cables during this attack so I can kinda/sorta buy that he didn't see anything. Everyone else in this gym is still ignoring this commotion. KM takes out a fitness trainer and scoop slams him on a trainee who was laying down on a bench and didn't have the common sense to stand up when KM started attacking the trainer. At the back of the gym, there's this guy (I first thought it may have been Clay Guida but he would have murdered KM if that was the case.) who is reading while all of this is going down and is of course laid out by KM.

My Take:

On paper, I understand what they wanted to do in this segment. My problem with it is that nobody would act like this is real life. Therefore it shatters my suspension of disbelief. I would have thrown down the treadmill guy and the weight cable guy and then have everyone else restrain KM and then have the big dude wipe the floor with everyone. But having everyone stand around while KM is cleaning house doesn't make sense to me.

Backstage, LAX are chopping it up at their roundtable. Konnan is going to have a sit-down with Sami Callihan next week. I love these LAX segments.

Impact World Heavyweight Champion, Eli Drake and Chris Adonis are interviewed. Adonis is going to be "The American Destroyer" when he gets inside of the ring with Petey Williams and Eli Drake just unleashes a barrage of charisma on the mic.

Match #3

Impact Grand Championship

Impact Grand Championship Rules Match

Ethan Carter III (c) vs Matt Sydal

Winner of round 1: Ethan Carter III

Winner of round 2: Matt Sydal

Result: Draw

STILL Impact Grand Champion: Ethan Carter III

After the match, EC3 makes choking gestures at Sydal who looks like such a nice dude because a lot of other people in that situation would have just went after EC3. Instead, Sydal just laments his defeat.

The air an old match between Bobby Roode and James Storm. Probably to promote their Global Wrestling Network. Seems like the right thing to do.

Another 80s Park, Park and Park commercial is shown. This is easily my favorite thing on this show.

Match #4

Tag Team Match

Moose & James Storm vs Lashley & Dan Lambert

Winners: Lashley & Dan Lambert

My Takes: 

• I absolutely love Dan Lambert on this show. I first got glimpses of him when he was on an Ultimate Fighter season a year or two ago. He came off as a bit of a heel to me then but I had no idea he was capable of this level of awesome cowardly heel.
• Lashley hits a Spear on Storm, Lambert had tagged himself in and delivers the pin on Storm.

Johnny Impact and Petey Williams are interviewed. They cut fiery babyface promos and have each other's backs. There's a Facts of Life reference thrown by Johnny that I can appreciate. One thing that irks me about these backstage interviews is that the volume level of the guy's voices are all the same no matter where the mic is positioned.

Match #5

Tag Team Match

Johnny Impact & Petey Williams vs Eli Drake & Chris Adonis

Winners: Johnny Impact & Petey Williams

My Take: 

• Is slow-mo for Johnny's entrance a little too much for the Impact production team to handle? No shade thrown since they all do great work but it's become an expectation with his entrances.
• This was an okay tag team match. Johnny's team wins after he hits the Starship Pain on Adonis.
• It's good to see Petey on Impact since he is pretty much synonymous with the company. Anytime I talk to casual fans, they always ask about "The Canadian Destroyer Guy". 
• Alberto ends the show by laying out Drake and posing with the Impact World Heavyweight Championship.

Closing Thoughts: 

Nothing bad on this show but nothing blow-away either. The show as a whole just comes off as meh instead of coming off as must-see TV. The matches usually range from okay to good and the characters all have potential. I'm not sure what's not clicking but I'm still rooting for them with this new shakeup in management (again).