My Total Divas Overview (Season 7, Episode 6)

Total Divas

Season 7, Episode 6

• This is funner when podcasters review it. I truly dread when it's time to run through this show. Well, let's not waste anymore time! (Says the guy about to take notes on Total Divas)
• Ugh, another trip to Cabo. Must be nice. Here I am asking friends if they want to go to the AMC in Somerville as a fun night out and these women's idea of a fabulous time is a trip to Cabo like it's nothing.
• ...I say that but if given the choice to go to Cabo right now or go to the movies, I'd probably go to the movies. I'm ready for a third helping of The Last Jedi. I'm just saying that the Cabo thing really makes these women unrelatable but then again, every show on the E Network seems to be this way.
• Nattie is sitting in the hairdresser chair just talking about her problems with Lana who is standing nearby unbeknownst to Nattie. Nattie finally sees her and this certain type of awkwardness ensues that sort of reeks of this whole thing being.....not entirely real.
• Lana tells Nattie the age old saying that if she has a problem with her, to say it to her face. The kryptonite of those who gossip. 
• I'll just come out and say that I'm pretty sure that this reality show is also mostly staged and produced. So in the interest of fun, I'm just going to start taking notes like it was all real.
• Frankly, in my humble opinion, Nattie holds rank over Lana when it comes to the WWE. Lana would benefit from sitting under Nattie's learning tree than having these petty disputes.
• They show footage from a tag team match where Naomi and Becky Lynch took on Natalya and Carmella. 
• Naomi hits a Jumping Leg Drop. If you look at the crowd, they are sitting on their hands. Then it immediately (and not too smoothly) cuts to footage of the crowd cheering and yelling that was obviously footage from either after the match or from another segment of the show. The average E viewer wouldn't notice these things so good on the production team.
• Nattie and Lana start arguing (which began from a compliment from both) and Carmella bottle taps Lana's beer which starts to foam volcano out of the bottle. I'm not sure what parties Lana's been to but where I come from that means "shut up and drink or you fuck up the floor". Carmella basically says this as Lana rushes to drink the beer that is furiously coming out of the bottle.
• They then begin arguing over which rooms they're going to stay in which makes Nattie move Lana's luggage. 
• Lana says that the one thing she's learned in this business is to never touch anyone's stuff. Well, there's also another rule where you respect those who came before you and if Nattie wants your room then you have to give it on up, girlfrehnd.
• Nikki Bella tries to mediate and feels like she's in the worst threesome ever. 
• Carmella hands out penis-shaped straws.
• Brie arrives to Cabo, slaps on her bathing suit and starts milking to keep her breasts in milking condition as Trinity (Naomi) starts to examine the produced milk and takes a sip or two like a savage. "Tastes like 2% milk!" 
• Lana also takes a shot of leche de Brie and feels enlightened from the experience.
• Lana ensigns a reluctant Trinity to help toilet paper Nattie's room (who is conveniently on her way there).
• Lana then basically confirms my seven seasons long hunch that this show is one giant work by telling Trinity that she should help Lana TP Nattie's room because Nattie's after Trin's SmackDown Women's Championship and "might probably cheat".
• Nattie catches them in the act and a fight...does not ensue. What does ensue is some form of joyful horseplay. Nattie then snatches Lana's phone which further escalates things a bit.
• Nattie and Lana just continue to argue. They argue during a sunset dinner and on the bus ride back.
• A little part of me dies every time the words "Brie Mode" are said.
• They're all on the dance floor now, Nattie casually pushes Nattie aside before Lana retaliates with a casual slap from behind to Nattie.
• Everything was here minus the TV trope record scratch.
• Brie goes up the band and starts drunkenly talking on the mic that mothers can throw down with the best of them. As a musician, I'm sure that the band was like "yeah, whatever, GTFO".
• Back to Nattie who returns fire with a slap to Lana.
• The other girls try to calm the situation. It looks to have worked for a moment but Nattie randomly comes back and throws a drink on Lana's face. If this wasn't WWE-related then it would be hands on motherfucking sight. However, this IS the WWE and Nattie holds rank. So Lana should just ride out the storm.
• Nothing doin'. Lana strikes right back by throwing two drinks at Nattie. 
• The only other thing that they show is Brie in the next mode after Brie Mode known as Super Sloshed Mode. Who knows, maybe that's a work too.
• Two female WWE performers doused in alcohol and fighting with each other. I guess this show's target market is women and horny ass dudes.
• Nikki adds that the drinks that were used as projectiles were $800 bottles of champagne THAT THEY DIDN'T FUCKING DRINK. No wonder the world hates the U.S.! Here you are working at this establishment to make ends meet and you see these hot, high-class bitches just wasting money. Shameful shit right here.
• I got to say though...I am down with Brie's new single "How Did I Lose My Shoe". Have you ever been out with your friends and have reached that point? Good times.
• Back at the Cabo house and Nattie bee-lines it to Lana's room and carries her stuff out into the Cabo night before a commercial breaks.
• Nikki actually asks "Who's bag is that?". *Facepalm*. Really, Nikki?
• Nattie tosses Lana's gear bag AND her phone into Mexican waters as Trinity protests.
• Nattie tells Trin her reasons with drunken eyes. You ever see how someone's eyes always seem to be halfway shut when they're trashed? 
• Trinity actually has a name for this and refers to this as "Red Wine Nattie".
• There's No Chill Nia and now we've got Red Wine Nattie. We're about to see Lethal Weapon Lana.
• Lana is trying to get Nattie to open her door and threatens that she will cut Nattie's head bald while she sleeps.
• Lana seems to really keep her phone close. Keep that shit pin number locked, girl. Some Mexican dude might find that phone while he's out for a swim and may think to do something with whatever sensitive info is in that thing.
• Lana threatens to get naked and kick Nattie's door down so the show won't be able to air any footage. Lana, dear...you've never see them blur shit out?
• And that's the show. Props to Trinity. It was fun to see the whole journey and rigmarole through her eyes.

Overall Thought

I can save you an hour of your life here. All this episode featured was Nattie and Lana arguing in Cabo. If you love gossip and drama then this episode was for you. If you love WWE women in bikinis, throwing drinks on each other like it was the attitude era then this episode was for you too. For fans like me who watch Total Divas for the backstage insight....not so much of that here.